Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
