The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I enjoy the company of your penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
