he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
