but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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