i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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