I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
