so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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