Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
