they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
