i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
