Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
