Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
