I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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