You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
