Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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