I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize