Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
