On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
