I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
