it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
