Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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