like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
