I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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