I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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