Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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