still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
