Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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