smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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