Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
