Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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