youre lurking in front of me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
