I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
