Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
