I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
