never play flip cup with pint glasses
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
