I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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