another moral hangover. fuck.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
