Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
