I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
