there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
