I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
