End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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