For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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