plz talk dirty to me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
