The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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