I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
