There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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