Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
