His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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