i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
